Rule #1: Never leave a fellow Crasher behind.
For bachelors, going to a wedding is a great place to meet women, all while celebrating the bride and groom. And when you have a lot of single friends, you have many more opportunities to meet the one. On the other hand, there are some men who prefer to just have flings with women they meet at weddings. It’s a refined skill, and not every guy is good at it.
But in 2005, when the movie Wedding Crashers came out, it became sort of a guide for single men trying to have sex with women. Whether it was a bridesmaid, a family member, or another guest, Wedding Crashers gave tons of tips on how to be a womanizer, sneak into weddings, and bring home a babe.
Of course, in the film, not everything goes according to plan. Vince Vaughn’s character, Jeremy Grey, falls in love with Gloria, the sister of Claire, whom John Beckwith, Owen Wilson’s character, is smitten with. The two men find themselves at odds with one another, questioning their set of wedding crasher rules.
It’s been 14 years since the film’s release, and to celebrate this anniversary, as well as wedding season, here are some of our favorite Wedding Crashers quotes that will no doubt make you laugh, and maybe believe in love again.
Of course, it wouldn’t be right if we didn’t start with the best John Beckwith quotes from the film…
1. Advice we should all follow
“Don’t waste your time on girls with hats. They tend to be very proper.”
“You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.”
3. The perfect way to schmooze
“True love is your soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another.”
4. Way to be a bummer
“Love doesn’t exist, that’s what I’m trying to tell you guys. And I’m not picking on love, ‘cause I don’t think friendship exists either.”
5. It was still funny
“I’m sorry I called you a hillbilly. I don’t even know what that meant.”
6. Yeah, that’s not good
“Wow, getting a nice preview of what marriage is gonna be like with Ike Turner here.”
Then again, how could we forget these Jeremy Grey words of wisdom?
7. Way to label
“Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bull’s eye.”
8. Maple syrup is life
“I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I’ve had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?”
9. Some friend…
“Oh, that’s terrific! Why don’t you just feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning.”
10. We all deal with trauma in different ways
“I’m a little too traumatized to have a scone.”
11. Sounds like he needs a hug
“A friend in need is a pest.”
12. Perfectly imperfect
“I’m not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you. And you want to know what? I dig it.”
But Jeremy and John weren’t the only ones landing one-liners left and right…
13. Foreshadowing, anyone?
“You’re like that crazy guest who thinks he’s part of the family already.” —Claire Cleary
14. Sounds like a freak
“Oh, he says he believes in art, but all I’ve seen him do is dribble his own blood on a canvas and smear it around with a stick!” —William Cleary
Would Wedding Crashers even be a classic if there weren’t a set of rules? Well, though there are over 100 of them, these are our favorites.
15. Get yourself an “in”
Wedding Crashers Rule #3: When crashing an Indian wedding, identify yourself as a well-known immigrant officer or a county lawyer.
16. Wise words
Wedding Crashers Rule #12: When it stops being fun, break something.
17. Desperate times call for desperate measures
Wedding Crashers Rule #13: Bridesmaids are desperate: console them.
18. Repeat: do not wing it
Wedding Crashers Rule #19: Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast. Do not wing it.
19. Work with what you’ve got
Wedding Crashers Rule #22: You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.
20. Feeling greedy?
Wedding Crashers Rule #23: There’s nothing wrong with having seconds. Provided there’s enough women to go around.
21. Wow her with your moves
Wedding Crashers Rule #39: The way to a woman’s bed is through the dance floor.
22. Grief does crazy things to people
Wedding Crashers Rule #48: Make sure all the single women at the wedding know you’re there because you’ve just suffered either a terrible breakup or the death of your fiancee.
23. That’s just a fact
Wedding Crashers Rule #55: If pressed, tell people you’re related to Uncle John. Everyone has an Uncle John.
24. Use their insecurities
Wedding Crashers Rule #94: Deep down, most people hate themselves. This knowledge is the key to most bedroom doors.
25. Kids can be the deal-breaker
Wedding Crashers Rule #110: Make sure your magic trick and balloon animal skills are not rusty. If the kids love it, the girls will too.