Excerpt: Those words killed my spirit because I thought he loved me , then it clicked he just wanted me for the benefits

I have always loved writing anything, be it prose, poem or motivational notes with an end point of entertaining and inspiring lives. Sitting in one of my favourite coffee  shops with a cup of cappuccino on the table as I wrote on my diary. The events of the day seemed to be a major fun for me as I got to share all my secret fantasies and my exciting and boring days with my diary. My diary has become my companion after Jack Richardson, the popular guy in high school and my school crush who broke up with me and started dating one of the sorority girls in school after dumping several numerous girls on different occasions.

I always thought that jack was my life till I broke up with him and learnt that I own my life . We had a beautiful relationship, if not the best but the problem started when jack started acting like a jerk while flirting with other girls in my face. Yes I know he was a major flirt right from  the time he asked me to be his girl, but I was foolish to believe all the lies he told me about loving me and subdueing his flirting habits, which BOOM! I agreed to be his girl . I practically worshipped him and he took advantage of my naiveness or rather stupidity and played on me and when I confronted him about it , guess what he told me “only I have eyes for you. do you  actually think you can attract any dude ? you are damn lucky i am having a relationship with a nerd like you. Look at your clothes ,your glasses, your shoes ,you don,t excite me with those looks”.

Those words killed my spirit  because I thought he loved me , then it clicked he just wanted me for the benefits which included staying sleepless nights doing his assignments. I was just a means to an end and when he could no longer handle it he started irritating me so that I quit. “You are a selfish ba**ard son of a b**ch, you as**ole and No you are very wrong ,you are damn lucky to have me in your life and you will regret ever being this shitty towards  me” I said as I picked up my bag and walked out not giving him the opportunity to sprutter more craps  .  

As I took the elevator down ,the tears came and I just let it flow. I went home took a quick shower jumped into bed  while I cried myself to sleep. the next day I could not lift a limb. I spent the day on my bed with my diary cursing and abusing him. Throughout the rest of the year till graduation I was a shadow of myself, stayed on my own and avoided jack. On several occasions I saw him glancing pitifully at me but he did not try to get close. On other occasions I was mocked and bullied but I endured the torture.

Sitting here remembering all the bad times ,I sighed ,wish jack would see me now ,he would probably regret treating me like trash. I know I have grown up as a beautiful enviable writer who is proud of her achievements even if I was a nerd in high school ,it paid off  really well in my life. Noticing a shadow looming over me I raised my head ,and guess who I saw standing in front of me?