What I Wanna Be When I Grow Up Part 1

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When I enter pre-school I remember, all the rules
ABCs and 123 sleep time but while the teacher reads
Itsy Bitsy Spider, for me
When the rain of home the next day the sun dries me
Seems like the only cap and gown I seen
Watching my life on this widescreen
The household struggles took away my dream
Moved from the projects, what did it cost me?
A school of learning, I was a bumblebee
But the family grew, needed more room
Didn’t know welfare was everybody’s dreams
To the second stage, if my theme getting beat up became an outside thing
So I couldn’t focus on being a king
I went to neighbor to neighbor to learn different things
Looking at God’s nature, the stray things I knew since I was the only
I hear owls (sing) that I have to keep seeing things
That’s not what I wanted to be when I grew up
Sometimes I don’t think I’ll ever grow up
I still pray every day to what I wanna be when I grow up
But just in case I don’t show up
He bless (his children) to play
Be safe and grow up
(No matter what color in your cup)
Or what’s your family luck
Just say, your prayers when you get stuck and they will show up…

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shayarisms4lovers mar18 11 - Feel My Pain

Feel My Pain

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Too young to communicate what’s going through my brain
My lips move, but words, they never seem to escape
Am I f****d up?
Or am I just too young to communicate my pain?
My pops isn’t the blame!

As a child, I was just too ashamed to share my pain
I’m all grown up
Yet I still find it hard to communicate what’s on my brain
My anger is my outlet
But I am confused with not being able to show love

Surrounded by men from different parts of the world
They don’t know me
So why should I show love that can be misconceived as weakness
Trapped inside of me
Is still this little boy who is scared to communicate his pain

Ma, you are the reason I try
The reason I look myself in the mirror just to see what’s in my eyes
I’m not afraid anymore
That’s why I am sharing with the world
The reason this little boy cries

For too long now I’ve been blaming others
When I should’ve been blaming myself
Yeah I know
It’s a harsh reality
But the truth always hurts

Words communicated with truth
Has the power to heal
But words are only a form of expression
To communicate my pain
From this little boy who holds anger and pain

I must first forgive those in order to let this anger and pain die
Don’t ask me why
But this little boy trapped inside of me is now ready
Ready to communicate his pain and tell the world why
The love for my family will never die

I was too young to communicate my pain
But as a grown man
Now I am ready to communicate
What’s on my brain.

Feel my pain!!!…

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shayarisms4lovers June18 252 - Family Picture

Family Picture

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After Slugg: A Boy’s Life in the Age of Mass Incarceration by Tony Lewis Jr.

There’s something missing with this picture
As I wake onto a random day
In a random hood
In a random city
In America
I listen
Listen to the voice of my mother
Shouting down the bickering of my
Little sister and little brother
But there’s something missing
So I look
Look to find my auntie on the couch
With my baby cousin in hand
Look out the window to find the neighborhood junkie
But he is not the MAN
I’m looking for
See that man has been gone for years
Gone from this family’s struggles
Gone from being this family’s muscle
Gone from this family’s daily hustle
Ironic that I used that last word
‘cause HUSTLE is what got him sentenced
To no return, L.I.F.E.
So my father is what’s missing with this picture
My uncle too
And to every other black child
In a random hood
In a random city
In America
I’m just like you too.…

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shayarisms4lovers mar18 36 - जब बचपन याद आता है – Childhood

जब बचपन याद आता है – Childhood

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बचपन का जमाना

बचपन का जमाना होता था
खुशियों का खज़ाना होता था

चाहत चाँद को पाने की
दिल तितली का दीवाना होता था

रोने की वजह न होती थी
ना हसने का बहाना होता था

खबर न थी कुछ सुबह की
न शामो का ठिकाना होता था

मट्टी के घर बनते थे
बस उनको गिरना होता था

गम ही जुबान न होती थी
ना ज़ख्मों का पैमाना होता था

बारिस में कागज़ की कस्ती
हर मौसम सुहाना होता था

वो खेल वो साथी होते थे
हर रिश्ता निभाना होता था

मन के सच्चे

वो दिन अच्छे थे
जब हम बच्चे थे
झूठ बोला करते थे
मगर मन के सच्चे थे

बचपन की नींद

वो बचपन की नींद अब ख़्वाब हो गयी
क्या उम्र थी, के रात हुई और सो गए….…

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