30 Best ‘The Office’ Quotes

The worst part about prison was the dementors.

The Office has been a hit show for years and even though there are no longer new episodes, there’s still plenty of great material that has come out of the hit show that is relevant today.

You won’t go very long without hearing someone somewhere use The Office quotes or crack a joke from any of the hilarious characters the show has to offer.

Whether you are a Jim, Pam, Dwight, Kelly or Michael fan, there are a ton of hilarious moments from the show that will never get old. Just ask any true fan of the show, they most likely have binge-watched every single episode two or three times.

If you need a pick me up from a bad day or just a good laugh to keep you going here are 30 of the best The Office quotes to help put a smile on your face.

The Best ‘Office’ Quotes of All Time

1. “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” — Michael Scott

2. “I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself out…” — Kelly Kapoor

3. “I am Beyonce always.” — Michael Scott

4. “Oh, it is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn.” — Andy Bernard

5. “I am running away from my responsibilities and it feels good.” — Michael Scott

6. “Should have burned this place down when I had the chance.” — Michael Scott

7. “One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.” — Jim Halpert

8. “Mini cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?” — Kevin Malone

9. “I don’t care what they say about me. I just want to eat.” — Pam Beesly

10. “I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” — Michael Scott

11. “Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing.” — Dwight Schrute

12. “I stopped caring a long time ago.” — Creed Bratton

13. “It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don’t expect everybody to understand.” — Michael Scott

14. “The doctor said, if I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die. I’m going to die.” — Stanley Hudson

15. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” — Michael Scott

16. “You only live once? False. You live every day. You only die once.” — Dwight Schrute

17. “Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica” — Jim Halpert

18. “I understand nothing.” — Michael Scott

19. “What are your weaknesses?” “I don’t have any, a–hole.” — Kelly Kapoor

20. “I got six numbers. One more would have been a complete telephone number.” — Kevin Malone

21. “For my new year’s resolution, I gave up drinking… during the week.” — Meredith Palmer

22. “Come on guys. Early worm gets the worm.” — Michael Scott
“Another worm, like, are they friends?” — Jim Halpert

23. “An office is a place where dreams come true.” — Michael Scott

24. “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.” — Andy Bernard

25. “I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.” — Kelly Kapoor

26. “If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die.” — Stanley Hudson

27. “I knew exactly what to do, but in a much more real sense I had no idea what to do.” — Michael Scott

28. “Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.” — Andy Bernard

29. “I just wanna lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” — Kevin Malone

30. “That’s what she said.” — Michael Scott

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