40 Corny Jokes, Funny Puns And Sarcastic Quotes To Brighten Your Day

Sometimes we need a little chuckle.

Have you ever just fallen over yourself laughing at some of the corniest jokes that aren’t even funny but they are?

I have.

Some days you just need something completely crazy to make you laugh, even though you don’t feel like you could even find a laughing bone in your body.

Let’s just say my mom is the best. She sends me the craziest things in the world almost every day. We both get going and start trying to see who can find the funniest things. We both get the giggles and it makes the day much more exciting. Sending each other funny jokes or memes makes the day better when we are stressed, tired, emotionally exhausted, have a lot to do, and when we just need some cheering up. It’s a lot of fun to be able to send each other something hilarious to brighten up each other’s days.

Being funny and goofy keeps the days exciting and unpredictable. And let’s be honest, the dirtier the better. Those stick more than anything.

The moral of the story is that there is always a silver lining in life. You can always try to find something to make it better. You can always make someone else’s day better. Count it as a win if you can just get someone to laugh when they are in the midst of chaos. You can make a small impact on someone’s life just by attempting to take their minds off of such hard times. They will remember you the most when they look back because you were the one that made them smile and laugh.

So, this first set is a bunch of clean jokes that can be shared with anyone of any age.

1. A little clothing humor to brighten your day.

“Why did the belt get arrested?” —”He held up a pair of pants!”

2. Abracadabra!

“What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?” —”A labracadabrador!”

3. Splat!

“What happened when the grape crossed the road?” —”There was a traffic jam!”


“Why did the football coach go to the bank?” —”To get his quarter back!”

5. An innocent picture frame was framed.

“Why did the picture go to jail?” —”Because it was framed!”

6. Get it? Planet, plan it. HEHE.

“How do you throw a space party?” —”You planet!”

7. Commence the food humor.

“Where do hamburgers go dancing?” —”The meat-ball!”

10. Yum, hot fudge sundae here we come.

“Where do you learn how to make banana splits?” —”At Sundae school!”

11. And of course, you always need a fart joke.

“What do you call a guy who never farts in public?” —”A private tutor!”

12. You can tune a guitar, but you cannot tuna fish.

“What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?” —”You can’t tuna fish!”

13. Get it? A dress.

“What types of clothes does a house wear?” —”Address!”

14. Supplies, Supplies, Supplies!

“What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?” —”Supplies!!!”

15. Alligator saves the day.

“What do you call an alligator in a vest?” —”An Investigator.”

16. When you are awesome but you are still shy.

“What did the mushroom say to his ex when she broke up with him?” —”Don’t leave me. I’m a fungi.”

17. Get it? The termite is going to eat the bar, cause it’s made out of wood.

“What did the termite say when he entered the bar?” —”Is the bar tender here?”

18. Cannot have a sandwich without mayo.

“What did the mayo say when the fridge door was opened?” —”Shut the door. I’m dressing!”

19. When you get turned down for being the wrong type of sandwich.

“Why did the music producer decline to make the sandwich’s album?” —”He’s more into wrap music.”

20. Where is pop?

“What did the daughter corn ask the mother corn?” —”Where’s popcorn?”

21. A toe-less cow.

“Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?” —”They lactose.”

22. A choo choo train.

“How does a train eat?” —”It goes chew chew.”

23. We wouldn’t want it collecting dust, now would we?

“I had to sell my vacuum cleaner, because it was just collecting dust.”

24. Like they are in a real tank, like a military tank, not a fish tank.

“Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other fish, do you know how to drive this thing?”

25. Lets scramble.

“Why was the cook arrested?” —”He was beating an egg.”

26. I’ll be dammed.

“What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?” —”Dam.”

27. It’s the shelf’s fault.

“A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.”

28. Bacon, baking, same thing.

“Why did the pig get hired by the restaurant?” —He was really good at bacon.”

29. I never knew math could be so stylish.

“What does a mermaid wear to math class?” —”An algae-bra.”

30. And they lived happily ever after.

“Two antennas got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.”

31. No one likes an imposter.

“What do you call a fake noodle?” —”An impasta.”

32. The scarecrow award goes to…?

“Why did the scarecrow win an award?” —”Because he was out-standing in his field.”

33. A little case of the sneezes.

“What does a nut say when it sneezes?” —”Cashew.”

34. When coughing keeps even the dead awake.

“Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?” —”Because of his coffin.”

35. When people stick their nose where the sun don’t shine.

“What does a nosey pepper do?” —”Gets jalapeño business.”

36. A cold vampire doesn’t bode well for anyone.

“What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?” —”Frostbite.”

37. Yum, one of the best parts to eat.

“My [a cow] grandfather was a knight. His name was Sir Loin.”

38. There are no words.

“Why didn’t the Toilet Paper cross the road?” —”It got stuck in a crack.”

39. A dictionary that needs to go to rehab.

“What do you call a dictionary on drugs?” —”Addictionary.”

40. Ouch.

“What do you call a cheap circumcision?” —”A rip-off.”

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