50 Funny Mom Quotes To Share On Mother’s Day

Moms need a laugh too.

Society paints this image that motherhood is effortless and always rewarding. News flash, that isn’t always the case, as these oh-so funny mom quotes we’ve listed below undoubtedly prove.

Sure, there are amazing moments that make you proud to have brought life into this world, then there are others that make you question even wanting to be a mom in the first place.

Unfortunately being a mom isn’t awesome 100% of the time. Mothers have both good and bad days. Even funny days.

Mothers as a whole experience a lot of the same things, but everyone’s journey to motherhood and parenting is different. One thing is for sure, motherhood is full of hilarious moments. You just have to catch on to the jokes in the midst of all the chaos.

When you look back on those memories with your kids or even being pregnant, that you once thought were awful, you can’t help but laugh. Kids are really funny. They have a way of brightening the mood of a situation by just being themselves.

Admittingly, having a toddler run around the house with a diaper of their head as you leave for work is very annoying in the moment, but when you look back it’ll make you laugh and smile. Kids always leave you with a funny story to tell.

You’ll see the humor in motherhood, once you stop trying to be the perfect mom. The concept of a perfect mom is unattainable. Even women who have six or more kids don’t have parenting completely figured out.

Motherhood is one of those things where you learn through experience. All you can hope for is that you’re being the best mom you can be. We just have to laugh at those less than perfect moments.

If you’re in need of a quick laugh, check out these funny mom quotes to share with your family as you celebrate Mother’s Day.

1. Moms deserve four arms.

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” ― Milton Berle

2. What’s sleep at when you’re a mom?

“Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.” ― Amy Poehler

3. Infants are adorable bundles of torture.

“Twelve years later the memories of those nights, of that sleep deprivation, still make me rock back and forth a little bit. You want to torture someone? Hand them an adorable baby they love who doesn’t sleep.” ― Shonda Rhimes

4. Mom can find anything.

“Nothing is really lost until mom can’t find it.“

5. Nothing compares to Mom’s leftovers.

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” ― Calvin Trillin

6. Breastfeeding isn’t always picture perfect.

“When the milk first comes in, it’s like a tsunami.” ― Emily Blunt

7. Lots of moms want to teach their kids to swim.

“My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That’s how she learned how to swim. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.” ― Paula Poundstone

8. Spit ups equal success when you’re a mom.

“Sometimes I stand there going, ‘I’m not doing any of this right!’ And then I get this big man belch of her and I go, ‘Ah, we accomplished this together.” ― Christina Applegate

9. The mom diet consists of kid’s food.

“The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kid didn’t finish.” ― Carrie Underwood

10. Why have a baby when you can have a dog?

“Motherhood is tough. If you just want a wonderful little creature to love, you can get a puppy.” — Barbara Walters

11. Kids are like those Christmas gifts you get without return receipts.

“I asked Mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.” ― Calvin

12. When you’re kids ignore you, replace them with a dog.

“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” ― Nora Ephron

13. Of course, my daughter is my sister.

“As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.” ― Oscar Wilde

14. If you can raise children, you can go to war.

“Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare. “ ― Ed Asner

15. I take care of you now, then you take care of me later.

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” ― Phyllis Diller

16. Moms don’t fart.

“Ah, babies. They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.” ― Tina Fey

17. All kids love slime.

“[Having four kids is] endless stuff. It’s endless entertainment, it’s endless stress, endless responsibility. Everyone’s at different ages and levels, everyone’s into different stuff. But everyone is into slime.” ― Maya Rudolph

18. Hide and seek is really for the parents.

“I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can’t find me until after high school. “

19. Don’t forget the diapers.

“No one told me I would be coming home in diapers, too.” ― Chrissy Teigen

20. Moms have too much to think about.

“I used to have functioning brain cells, but I traded them in for children. “

21. Mothers are gourmet chefs.

“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it. “ ― Buddy Hackett

22. Sleep is always worth it.

“I slept in until 7:30 am this morning. The sink is clogged, the dog has a purple stripe down his back, and the chocolate cake is gone. So worth it.”

23. Figuring out a stroller is no small task.

“I’ve conquered a lot of things … blood clots in my lungs — twice … knee and foot surgeries … winning Grand Slams being down match point … to name just a few, but I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller!” ― Serena Williams

24. Cheetahs can’t compete with toddlers.

“The fastest land animal is a toddler with something in his mouth.”

25. Parents don’t need to be perfect.

“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.” ― Michelle Pfeiffer

26. Cherish your pre-baby face.

“Million-dollar beauty product: face cream called ‘Before Kids.”

27. Privacy is a foreign concept for moms.

“You know how once you have kids you never ever pee by yourself again? At least one of them is always in there with you at all times.” ― Jennifer Garner

28. Bedtime means ask mom for water.

“Bedtime is the leading cause of dehydration in children.”

29. I’m the only pregnant one.

“Stop saying ‘we’re pregnant.’ You’re not pregnant. Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady hole? No.” ― Mila Kunis

30. Motherhood brings a whole new meaning to partying.

“If I wasn’t at work, I just wanted to stay home and party with my little man — and by ‘party’ I mean, of course, endless rounds of ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider.” ― Olivia Wilde

31. You should be worried when the kids are quiet.

“Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious.”

32. There’s a reason kids can’t drink.

“Children are like crazy, drunken small people in your house.” ― Julie Bowen

33. Mothers know it all.

“A mother is the person you can always call to see how long chicken lasts in the fridge.”

34. Dads can’t compete with moms.

“It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” ― Betty White

35. Having kids is college part two.

“Having kids is just like college. You’re up all night, there is lots of puking, and you’re perpetually broke.”

36. Motherhood is about acceptance.

“Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” ― Nia Vardalos

37. Kids are smarter than we think.

Mom: “Eat your vegetables. There are starving kids in Africa who have nothing to eat.” Kid: “Can we mail them my broccoli?”

38. Kids always have the cutest responses.

“I don’t think so mommy!” is what my child said after, “Can you please pick up the popcorn you threw all over?” ― Anna Faris

39. All great partners yell at their kids.

“I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.” ― Reese Witherspoon

40. Moms are great at keeping secrets.

“Dear mom, thank you for keeping all the bad stuff I did from dad.”

41. Weird kids have weird parents.

“You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid that acts just like you.”

42. All real parents know these songs.

“If you don’t know about ‘Baby Shark’ or ‘Let it Go,’ you need to turn in your parent card.”

43. Your kids are the reason why you’re crazy.

“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children. “ ― Sam Levenson

44. Marriage and children resemble being in captivity.

“I’ve been married 14 years and I have three kids. Obviously I breed well in captivity.” ― Roseanne Barr

45. Mothers understand why animals do what they do.

“Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.”

46. We all become our moms once we’re parents.

“I can’t believe how much like my mother I turned out. I feel sorry for my kids.” ― Melanie White

47. Men aren’t mothers, but they do have a purpose.

“My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.” ― Tim Allen

48. If only you could schedule your labor.

“I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.” ― Rita Rudner

49. Mothers are too amazing to be compared by one person.

“How do I explain [my mom]? She is as respected as Mother Theresa, as powerful as Stalin, and as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.” ― Parks & Recreation

50. There is power in a mother’s voice.

“When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.”

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