Career V/S Love : An Emotional Fight Part I – Anup Kushwaha

Yes, you read well. It is really true. I think it will destroy my future and make me a looser.

Hey friends, How are you? What’s about you?? Leave a comment!

This is Anup from Patna and I have posted 5 to 6 stories here till 2015. Today’s my topic and story is about my own life. About fictious love that never exists in my heart. I think it makes me the worst.

Now, come to the point….

2011 me ham dono mere ghar pe shadi me mile the. Unhe dekh Kr mujhe bhut hi achha feel hua tha. Mai unse baat krna chahta tha. Wo bhut hi masum the. Unhe jab dekha tab dil ki dhadakan achanak badh gyi thi, othon se boli bhi nhi nikal rahi thi. Sirf dekhe ja rha tha. Masumiyat or adayen kut-kut ke bhari thi unme. Koi dekhe to Ek pal me hi dil de baithe. Bas unhe hi dekhe ja rhe the ham. Sayad unka bhi yahi haal tha. 15 ki umar me pyar ka ahesas kitna acha lagta hai n. Shadi me wo mere ghar aaye the to baat krne ki himmat nhi huyi. Bas ankh-se-ankh mila krte the. Sayad itna kafi tha. Bhut hi silent love wali feeling aati thi. Shadi khatam ho gyi. Shadi ke baad wo 7 din mere ghar ruke par na wo mere se kuch bol paye or na hi ham. Bas naino se baaten hoti thin. Fir 8june ko wo apne ghar chale gye. Unki aankhon me aansoo the, nhi jana chahte the wo. Sayad pyar ho gya tha unhe bhi hmse. Kahi-n-kahi wo bhi apne dil se samjhota Kr baithe the. Unke jane se dil toot-sa gya rha. Kuch bhi acha nhi lga. Bilkul akela-sa feel hota tha. Meri aankhon ko bhi unka jana manzoor nhi tha. Par jo likha hai kismat me wo to hota hi hai. Chhoti bahen se unke bare me pta kiya, to hmare kribi rishtedar the wo. But relation kuch or tha. Bhai-Bahen wali relation thi unki or hmari. Sayad unhe bhi baad me pta lga ho. Fir dheere-dheere sb normal ho gya. Par unki suart hamesa se dil ke Ek kone me set ho gyi thi. Mere bhi schools start ho gye. Doston ke sath rahena or apni kaamon me busy rahene se ham unhe bhut jaldi bhul gye par unke chehare ko nhi bhul paye.

Bich-bich me jb ghar me koi unki jikar kr deta tha to hame ajeeb trh ka mahesoos hone lagta tha. Unse milne ka man krne lagta tha, unse baat krne ka man hone lagta tha par hamare pass unka koi contact no. nhi tha or us samay hame Facebook, WhatsApp ke bare me bhi pta nhin tha. Jaise-taise zindagi katne lagi. Samay bitata gya. 10th ki paper hmne di or unhone bhi, result mera hi jayada rha. Unka paper me tabiyat kharab ho gya tha is wajah se unke marks achhe nhi aayen.

Fir 12th bhi sath hi kiye alag-alag district se. Is baar wo hamse aage thin. Unke marks hamse ache the. Ye sari baaten mere ghar wale kaha krte the to mujhe bhi pta lagta tha unke bare me or sayad unke ghar bhi meri baaten hoti thin. Jab bhi meri bahen unke ghar jati to wo meri padhai ke bare me or meri personal life ke bare me puchha krti thin, ye meri bahen ne mujhe btaya tha.

Unko dekhe ab 6 saal ho gye the. Ek baar wo mere ghar bhi aaye the to mai undino college ke toore pe gya hua tha. Fir wo jab chale gye to mai lauta to chhoti bahen ne btaya ki wo meri room me mere books pdha krti thi or meri PC me rooj net use kiya krti thin to Maine apne sare books dekhe, kahin unhone koi letter ya Number to nhi dala par kuch nhin tha. Afssos, khud pe hasi aa rahi thi ki ham kya-kya soch lete hain…

Isi darmiyan meri life me Ek or ladki aayi jisne mere sath pyar ka jhutha emotional attachments create Kiya or uske chakkar me main unhe bhul gya. Us ladki ne mujhe dhokha diya or hmane usse duri bna li. Pura 1 saal barbad ho gya tha uske chakkar me.

Ab to wo bhi yaad nhin aate then.

Iske baad hamne pdhai pe dhayan diya or graduation me admission li or maine 2016 me 12th ki or 2017 me graduation me admission li. Ek saal barbad. Sath me SSC ki preparation karne ke liye Patna rahene laga.

Fir december, 2017 me unke yahan Ek chhoti si party thi to unke bhai sahab ne mujhe specially invite Kiya to mai unki baaton ko kaise taal sakta tha. Fir main apne ghar walon ke sath unke ghar gya. Waha mai bilkul naya tha to hame ajeeb trh ka feel ho rha tha. Kisi ko jante bhi nhin the ham. Fir mai Ek bade se room me bed pe ja kar let gya or fir mujhe nind aa gyi. Thand ki wajah se maine kamabal odh rakhi thi. Sham me 6 bje mai jga. Kafi andhera ho chuka tha. Raat hone wali thi. Ab party me log aane lage the. Hmare umar ke bhut se ladke-ladkiyan aaye huyen then. Mai fresh hua or apni bahen ko dhundhne lga. Mai Ek kamre me gya jhan meri bahen akele baith kar tv me koi movie dekh rahi thi to main bhi movie dekhne lga. 2 minute bhi nhin huye honge ki wo us kamre me aayi…wo bhut gusse me thi. Unki nazar mere pr nhin padi par meri halat kharab ho gyi unhe dekh kar. Aaj 7 saal ho gye the…fir bhi nhin badli thin wo… Aaj bhi wahi masoomiyat, wahi adayen. Kya kahena us bhagwan ka jisne unhe is trh se bnaya tha. Fir wo meri bahen ke taraf mudi or usi waqt unki nazar meri nazaron se takrayi. Mere dil ki dhadkan achanak se bhut tez ho gyi. Mera chehara pura lal pad gya tha. Mujhe pta nhin kya hone lga tha..mai nhi bta skata ki wo Kya tha pr ajeeb si khushi ki trh mahesoos ho raha tha. Main unko dekhe ja raha tha or wo mujhe. Kisi ki nazar ek-dusre se nhin hat rahi thi. Dheere se unki aankhon me aansoon aa gye or wo unhe pochhate huye waha se bhut tez bhagi or kisi dusre room me jaa Kr andar se door ko lock kar liya. Fir meri bahen ne mze lene ke liye kaha kuch to hai to Maine use payar se Ek halki chata laga di or wo hasne lagi. Fir hamne bahen se puchha ki tumne unse  baat ki to wo boli ki sham me jab aap so rahe the to ham bhut der tak unse baat kiye pr aapke bare me kuch nhin btaya. To maine kaha kyon? To bahen ne kaha ki aap unke liye meri taraf se surprise ho…to mujhe hasi aa gyi. Ab 8 baj chuke the, party start ho gyi or sb log dance krne lge or sb maze kar rhe the. Mai bhi wahi tha or wo bhi thin. Par wo sayad hamse bhut naraz thin aisa sayad unhe dekhne se lag. Main unki trf gya to wo bhag gye or apni maa ke pass chali gyi, actually mai relative tha to unki mummy ne mujhe khud bulaya or unke samne hi baate karne Lagi. Mai bhi baate krne lga, padhai se lekar personal life, harek baaten  huyi. Fir sb sath me dinner krne get to mai bhi gya. Or mai dinner kr ke upar ke kamre me ja Kr so gya. Raat ko 1.5 bje wo mere pass aayin or unhone mujhe uthaya. Nind to mujhe aa hi nhi rahi thi par mai thoda sa soya tha. Upar koi nhin tha to hame baat krne me dikkat nhin ho skati thi. Unhone ruansi aawaj me hmase Kaha,”kaise hain aap?” Or unko rona aa gya or apne chehare ko dhak kar rone Lagi. Ye mai bilkul ache se smjh gya tha ki wo mere se bhut pyar krti hain. Maine kaha,”main achha hun, aap kaisi hain?” Ye puchte hi unhone mujhe bhut hi jor se hug kar liya. Unka hug bhut hi tight tha. Fir maine unse kaha,”kya ho gya aapko babu?” To wo sirf boli,”aapke bin ham adhure hain.” To hamne kaha ki “aap mujhe choro koi dekh lega to….” to Fir unhone mujhe Chora or tb maine unhe bed pe baithaya or samjhaya ki “aap rishte me meri bahen lagogi… ye galat hai

  1. Aage ki baaten next story me.
    Tab tak ke liye good bye.

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