Funny Status For Whatsapp Images, Funny Jokes For Whatsapp

Funny Status For Whatsapp Images, Funny Jokes For Whatsapp

पहले सब्र का फल मीठा होता था, लेकिन अब सब्र के फल की कहीं और शादी हो जाती है


I would lose weight, but I hate losing


Totally available!! Please disturb me!


Dear problems… Please give me some discount… I am your regular customer.


Waqt बहुत किंमती होता है, इसलिए अपना नहीं – दूसरों का बरबाद करें…

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Chutkule: चुटकुले, Funny Jokes in Hindi,

Looking for the Best Chutkule ? If yes then you are in right place because here we have collected चुटकुले . Read these Funny Jokes in Hindi and share with friends, relative and social media also. thanks

hindi chutkule हिन्दी चुटकुले

—#1—

लड़का: कहां जा रही हो ?
लड़की: आत्महत्या करने.
लड़का : तो इतना मेकअप क्यों किया हुआ है?
लड़की : अबे गधे ! कल न्यूज पेपर में फोटो आएगी न……..

Santa Banta Chutkule: संता बंता चुटकुले

—#2—

संता: यार बस हमारे ऊपर चढ़े या हम बस पर चढ़े दोनों ही हालातों में क्या होगा?
बंता: देख यार चाहे तू बस पर चढ़े या या फिर बस तुझ पर चढ़े दोनो मर्तबा टिकट तेरा ही काटता है.

—#3—

फेरी वाला: चाकू छुरियां तेज करवा लो.
संता: क्यों भाई, अक्ल भी तेज करते हो क्या?
फेरी वाला: क्यों नहीं, हो तो ले आइए.

—#4—

मालिक – तुम बिल्कुल गधे हो, उस भद्र महिला से इतनी रुखाई से पेश आये कि वह बिना कुछ लिये ही चली गई |
सेल्समैन – जी बड़ा अच्छा हुआ |
मालिक – क्यों ?
सेल्समैन – जी वह मेरी पत्नी थी |…

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Corona Timepass Jokes

1. ना इलाज़ है ना दवाई है, ऐ ईश्क तेरे टक्कर की बला आई है!!

2. ताड़का को देखकर बच्चे ने पूछा.. ये कौन है…?
पत्नी/पति दोनों के मुंह से एक साथ निकला…
पत्नी : बुआ
पति : मौसी

#रामायण खत्म
#महाभारत शुरू

3. आज मोहल्ले की बाईयों की…
उच्चस्तरीय बैठक में…
चिंता का माहौल था…
मालिक और मालकिन….
यदि हमारा काम सीख गये तो…

हमारा क्या होगा???

4. पति के राशिफल में लिखा था,
“ऊँचाइयाँ छूने का योग है”

सुबह से पंखे और जाले साफ कर रहे है ..

5. कुछ शब्द इस ब्रह्मांड से ही गायब हो गए
a. घर कब आओगे।
b. कहा हो

6. गब्बर : ये हाथ मुझे दे दे ठाकुर

ठाकुर : अब तो तू ले ही ले साले। थक गया मैं तो इनको धोते धोते

7. इन-दिनो घरवाली की निगाहें उस ठेकेदार जैसी लगने लगी है
जिसकी लेबर खाली बैठ कर बीड़ी पी रही हो।

8. रामायण और महाभारत तो चालू हो गई

अगर आप घर से बाहर निकले तो
गरुड़ पुराण भी चालू होजायेगी

9. घर में सुकून और चैन कायम रखने वाले अमृतवचन

1.तुम बहुत खूबसूरत लग रही हो – 10 बार
2. काम भी कितना करती हो – 6 बार
3. पतली हो गयी हो – 20 बार
4. थक जाती होगी – 10 बार
5. अपना ख्याल रखा करो – 15 बार
6. तुम्हारे मायके वाले कितने अच्छे है – कम से कम 100 बार

इन अमृतवचन को घर मे रोज़ाना 3 से 4 बार बीवी के सामने पढ़ने से घर में सुकून कायम रहेगा,
अंतरात्मा आप को ऐसा करने से रोकेगी पर हिम्मत करें और पूरे गर्जना से पढे

10.चीन वालों, तुम्हारा सत्यानाश हो सालों
4 आदमियों के बीच उठने बैठने लायक, नहीं छोडा..…

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Corona Jokes for Timepass

1. इन 21 दिनों में अभी आज चौथा ही दिन है, और
सभी पति-पत्नियों के बीच इतना सामंजस्य है कि

उन्हें कुछ कहने की जरूरत ही नहीं है
बस घूरने के अंदाज से वो समझ जाते हैं, कि अभी
बर्तन मांझने है कि
झाड़ू लगाना है की
चाय बनाना है….

2. एक ग्रुप में चर्चा चल रही थी कि 21 दिन के लॉक डाउन के बाद किसका चेहरा सबसे पहले देखना पसंद करेंगे ???

80 % महिलाओ ने जवाब दिया की काम वाली बाई का

और मजे की बात यह कि 100%पुरुषों ने भी यही जवाब दिया..

3. विशेष सुचना
शराब, तम्बाकू, गुटखा,सौतन, गर्लफ्रेंड्स छुड़वाइये मात्र 21 दिनों मे।

मोदीजी दिल्लीवाले

4. हम चाइना की झालर,पिचकारी बंद करने चले थे

सालों ने हमारी पोहे, जलेबी, कचोरी, समोसे सब खाना बंद करवा दिया..

5. जिन पति पत्नियों ने 21 दिन शांतिपूर्वक
एक दूसरे को झेल लिया,समझो बस उन्हीं की जन्मकुण्डली
सही से मिली है
बाकी सब मोह माया…

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Latest Funny WhatsApp Joke

एक नर्स बाहर आई और बोली : माँ बच्चा दोनों ठीक है,
और नर्स ने बच्चा बच्चे के पिता को दिया।

बच्चे के बाप ने अपनी बहन को दिया।
बहन ने अपने पति को दिया।
उसने नानी को दिया।
नानी ने नाना को दिया।
नाना ने बच्चे के चाचा को दिया।
चाचा ने चाची को दिया।
चाची ने बच्चे के दादी को दिया
और दादी ने दादा को दिया।
.
.
बच्चे ने घबराकर पूछा : दादाजी….
ये आप लोग क्या कर रहे हो….????

दादाजी बोले :
बेटा ये सब Whatsapp रोग से ग्रसित है,
तू Market में नया है ना
इसलिये तुझे “Forward” कर रहे हैं।!…

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30 Relatable Corny Quotes About Love & Relationships That Will Make You Laugh

Who doesn’t love corny love jokes? Make someone’s day, make them smile and spread the love.

Have you ever just been so in love that you say some of the corniest things ever just to make your significant other smile and laugh?

Some days are hard and you may have to cheer someone you love up. Just a little quirky, silly something will crack that person up and will put a smile on their face. You can make someone feel ten times better by just sharing sweet, little and funny quotes.

Yes, it may make you feel dumb, but it’s worth it. There are lots of corny love jokes that you can even tell your children. They will get a kick out of it too.

I always find it funny when my mom, to this day, sends me texts that contain corny love jokes. It makes me smile before I head into a meeting, a class or in the middle of the everyday chaos.

Unexpected moments are when these types of corny love jokes make the most impact because it’s something that comes out of nowhere.

Nothing can beat a corny joke when you are so tense and nervous or if you are just down in the dumps.

These corny love jokes can also make your partner’s day if you have been separated for a long period of time because of one or both of your jobs or are rocking the long distant relationship. It will not only bring a smile to their faces but it will make them know that you were thinking about them. It makes you feel special when you know someone you love is out there thinking about you.

Make someone you love know how much they mean to you through a different method. Share some funny love quotes with your significant other this summer. And it’s just fun to see someone’s face when you tell them corny quotes. It’s a fail-safe when you cannot think of anything else to do. Just embrace the corniness.  

Here are 30 corny quotes about love to tell someone just how much they mean to you and make them laugh.

1. You always know you are loved.

“Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on x-rays but you know it’s there.” —George Burns

2. When your significant other is in the same category as chocolate on

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Knock Knock Jokes: 50 of the best jokes and riddles for kids

An easy way to get your little comedian started at home is by telling simple jokes. Let them discover jokes that resonate with them and have them practice their storytelling skills on you and other family members. To get them started, we’ve collected some of the best funny jokes for kids.

Knock-Knock Fuuny Jokes for Kids

Person 1: Knock-knock.
Person 2: Who’s there?
Person 1: Justin.
Person 2: Justin who?
Person 1: Justin time for dinner!

Person 1: Knock-knock.
Person 2: Who’s there?
Person 1: Lettuce.
Person 2: Lettuce who?
Person 1: Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!

Person 1: Knock-knock.
Person 2: Who’s there?
Person 1: Wooden shoe.
Person 2: Wooden shoe who?
Person 1: Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?

Person 1: Knock-knock.
Person 2: Who’s there?
Person 1: Atch.
Person 2: Atch who?
Person 1: Bless you!

Person 1: Knock-knock.
Person 2: Who’s there?
Person 1: Interrupting pirate.
Person 2: Interrup…
Person 1: ARRRRRRR!

Person 1: Knock-knock.
Person 2: Who’s there?
Person 1: Boo.
Person 2: Boo who?
Person 1: Don’t cry, it’s just me!

Person 1: Knock-knock.
Person 2: Who’s there?
Person 1: Cow says.
Person 2: Cow says who?
Person 1: No, silly! A cow says “Mooooo!”

Jokes about ghouls, ghosts and other gross stuff 

Q: Why did the superhero flush the toilet?
A: Because it was his doody.

Q: How do you get a tissue to dance?
A: You put a little boogie into it.

Q: What did one toilet say to the other?
A: You look a bit flushed!

Q: Who did the zombie take to the prom?
A: His ghoul-friend!

Q: What is big, green and plays a lot of tricks?
A: Prank-enstein!

Q: Why did the ghost blow his nose?
A: Because it was full of booo-gers!

Jokes about animals 

Q: What does a spider’s bride wear?
A: A webbing dress.

Q: Where do cows go for entertainment?
A: The mooooo-vies!

Q: What did one firefly say to the other?
A: You glow, girl!

Q: What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?
A: A stega-snore-us.

Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing?
A: Because she was a little hoarse.

Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A: A spelling bee.

Q: Where does the chicken like to eat?
A: At a rooster-ant!

Jokes about food 

Q: Where do you learn to make banana splits?
A: At sundae school.

Q: 

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The 40 Best ‘I Love You’ Memes That Are Cute, Funny & Romantic All At The Same Time

How do you say those three little words?

When you say ‘I love you’ to someone, you are taking on a lot of responsibility. Love comes with ups and downs, which aren’t always apparent until they’re happening.

But with that said, being in love is so much fun.

Getting to be with the person you care about most in the world as much as you want can practically feels like one big sleepover all the time.

Expressions of that love come in many forms. You might be the type of person who texts your significant other “get home safe” when they’re driving, or you may be the person who makes your partner’s favorite home-cooked meal to surprise them.

However you do it, your special sweet somethings becomes your own personal ways of saying “I love you”.

And when you’re with someone who has their own way of saying they love you back, it can make you feel that much more important to them.

Of course, love isn’t always easy. There are so many times I wish I could have taken a step back and tried to diffuse a situation with love instead of fighting first, but it doesn’t always happen the way you want it to.

Even in those times, though, it’s important to remember that love is something that should be appreciated and that it’s OK to get fed up sometimes, as long as you remember to say, “I love you” when everything has settled.

To celebrate the ups and downs of love, we found the 40 best cute “I love you” memes and quotes that are funny and romantic all at the same time.

1. On remembering love when you’re mad.

“I might be grumpy, but I love you.”

2. On that all-encompassing kind of love.

“I love you from my head to-ma-toes.”

3. On being loved as you are.

“When u throwing random mood swings at ur man but he’s handling it well.”

4. On loving someone more than your favorite thing.

“I love you more than cookies!”

5. On not letting other emotions get in the way of love.

“I’m mad at you, but I still love you.”

6. On knowing when it’s really true love.

“Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren’t naked right now.”

7. On getting your Whitney Houston on.

“And I will alwaysss love you!!”…

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51 Funny Ellen DeGeneres Quotes & Memes That Teach Us About Compassion

Not only is she funny, but she teaches us every day to be compassionate to the people around us.

Ellen DeGeneres is a 62-year-old comedian, actress, writer, and television host. When it comes to stand-up comedy, Ellen started performing in small clubs. However, in 1981 she became the emcee at Clyde’s Comedy Club. Around that time, she began to go on tours all over the nation, and in 1984, Showtime declared her The Funniest Person In America.

In 1986, Ellen appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. After she performed that set, Carson motioned for her to join him for an on-air interview, which was the first time a female comedian was invited to partake in that. Even though Ellen stopped performing stand-up in 2003, she made her comeback after 15 years by releasing a special to Netflix called Relatable.

Ellen DeGeneres also has a very successful television career. She had her first regular TV role in 1989 on a sitcom called Open House. She also had parts in shows like One Night Stand and Laurie Hill.

In 1994, Ellen DeGeneres starred in the show These Friends of Mine but after a season they changed the name of the show to Ellen. In 1997, “came out” as a lesbian on The Oprah Winfrey Show and thus, her character on Ellen also came out as gay in the sitcom. Ellen then became the first show on prime-time to include an openly gay leading character, however, the show was canceled shortly after in 1998, so DeGeneres began her own talk show called The Ellen DeGeneres Show in 2003.

The Ellen DeGeneres Show was incredibly successful, receiving over 20 Daytime Emmy Awards in the first five seasons. The show continues to air daily on NBC.

In 2008, Ellen DeGeneres married actress Portia de Rossi, and in 2009, was a judge on American Idol — but DeGeneres decided to leave the show after just one season because she didn’t enjoy judging the contestants.

She then explored interior design with her show Ellen’s Design Challenge in 2015. In 2017, she hosted Ellen’s Game of Games which featured weird competitions among her audience members.

Along with her television work, Ellen DeGeneres is famous for voice acting the role of Dory in the animated film Finding Nemo in 2003. She then reprised her role in 2016 in the film Finding Dory

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40 Funny Period Quotes About Menstruation That’ll Make You Laugh During ‘That Time Of The Month’

Own your period!

Pretty much every female on this planet has to deal with that time of the month. You know, our monthly monster, shark week, the crimson tide, moon time, mother nature’s gift, good ‘old Aunt Flo — yes we’re talking about your period.

For most women, menstruation is just a fact of life that comes with living in our bodies (that we don’t really love).

So why is talking about our periods or menstrual cycles something society has made women feel like we should be embarrassed about? Why is it that when girls have to go to the bathroom on their period, we feel the need to hide our tampons?

Is it because we worry about looking weird or gross? Making it known that our body is functioning normally should not be that big of a deal, period.

So in celebration of (or at least in recognition of) getting your period month after month (after month after month), we’ve collected 40 of the best period quotes, jokes and funny sayings about menstruation to makes going through this time of the month a little less frustrating.

1. Why are periods so hard?

“Periods are ridiculous. I shouldn’t be punished for not being pregnant.” — Unknown

2. Coincidence? I think not!

“Menstruation. Menopause. Mental breakdowns. Notice how all women’s problems begin with men.” — Unknown

3. If there were a plus side to having your period.

“Maybe if period pain burned calories, it’d be worth it.” — Unknown

4. We women are freaking cool.

“Why you’re bad*ss. Because you can bleed for a week straight without dying.” — Unknown

5. Don’t downplay my emotions. PMS is a real thing.

“Yes, I am on my period. No, that doesn’t mean that my anger is irrational.” — Unknown

6. Suspicious…

“Periods help you learn how to get blood off of things which is probably why you hear more stories of men caught with murder.” — Unknown

7. Stress is high during that time of the month.

“My uterus is shedding and I will not hesitate to stab you.” — Unknown

8. Truer words were never spoken.

“I respect whoever allowed women into the military. Girl on period + gun = unstoppable.” — Unknown

9. Why can’t we feel magical on our periods instead of like we’re dying?

“Periods. Of all things, why blood? Why can’t it be like…fairy dust or something?” — …

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