Still I left her

Late night calls, texts, nothing changed my mind. I was very stern and I didn’t give up my decision. She cried day and night. Prayed to God not to separate us. Still all in vain. Maybe I was blind not to see her tears, maybe i was deaf not to hear her sobbing wail, maybe a fool not to understand her love and care or maybe a dumb not to express my feelings. But still she didn’t blame me. She knew very well how much I loved her. I know she too love me so much. She is like a sparkling star of my life.

For the first time, no, maybe for the first time and last time in our life , we planned to meet each other. I went to her hometown. Eagerly waited for her to arrive in a cafe. My heart was palpitating. I knew she is my everything. I didn’t want to lose her in my life. But I was in a situation where I can’t express my feelings to her. Because my ignorance can only separate her from me or else I know very well that she won’t leave me. I love her, I want her, I want to grow old with her, but I know I don’t deserve her. I am beast and she is my pincess but still I let her go because she deserve a better life. My prayers will always be with her till my last breath and beyond the cold graves.

All of a sudden waiter intrupted my thoughts. I was back to reality. As he left I pounced in to my phone. Texted her and eagerly waited her to reply. But she didn’t, after 5 minutes she arrived. All alone, wearing a burqa and covering her face with a veil. She sat in a opposite chair facing me. I didn’t know how to greet her, numbness filled my mind. Eventhough I can only see her eyes I felt like she is the most beautiful woman in the world. I can see her eyes with hidden tears. Still she didn’t complain. Finally to break the silence I asked her how she is ? With her cute voice she replied she is fine. Her voice was mesmerizing. I felt like I am losing my contol over myself. Still tryed to control my emotions because I didn’t want to spoil her life.

She didn’t ask me anything nor I . There was a silence between us. Once again the waiter broke the silence and we ordered two coffee. At last she spoke. Her words were heart touching, I could feel her love for me in it. She kindly requested me not to leave her because she loves me so much. I was speechless, my heart was busy telling me not to leave her while my brain told me to leave her. I didn’t know how to respond. I kept quiet. Coffee arrived slowly she drank her coffee slightly moving her veil without completly revealing her face. Burqa and viel was an object for her to protect herself from her relatives and friends finding about us and our meeting.

We sat there almost an hour. But both of us couldn’t speak much. Love for her was over ruling me but still I didn’t express it. Finally she asked me to think once again on this decision. She was not ready to live her life with anyone else. I knew it well but I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want anyone else to marry her. She is mine but I want her to live happily so I suppressed my emotions. So instead of revealing her about my feelings I wished her all best and asked her to live happily with her soulmate. Tears rolled down on her cheeks . She ran away. I wanted to stop her and hug her tight and tell her how much I love her and how much I need her in my life but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have the power to do so.

She left me after that she didn’t contact me nor I contacted her. I know she loves me so much and I also know that she is staying away from me is just because she doesn’t want to hurt me, it was her way of loving me. Eventhough I felt many times to contact her and tell her how much I need her I didn’t do it because I know soon she will get a better life with a better guy.

Now years after that incident still I can recollect those sad moments. I am leaving all alone I miss her so much . I wish to know how she is. I hope she is living happily with her husband and kids. But still I regret leaving her. It’s the worst mistake in my life. She taught me many things. She taught me to love her so madly. Even after so many years still she is hauntig me. Now I write my story because I don’t want anyone to do this stupidity like me. Don’t let your fear over rule you and never leave your beloved at any cost. If you love her face all problems and make her your life partner.


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