40 Best Ron Swanson Quotes From Parks And Rec

Parks and Rec may have ended in 2015, but Ron Ulysses Swanson quotes remain a constant source of wisdom and relatability in these uncertain times. 

Though he is distant and hyper-masculine, Ron secretly harbors respect and care for those around them and is a great comic relief source. A breakfast aficionado, woodworking savant, avid fisherman, and secret jazz saxophonist, Ron has lived a full life. He has plenty of advice for the rest of us.

The Parks and Recreation department director in Pawnee has opinions on everything from America to skim-milk — his wisdom knows no bounds!

Best Ron Swanson Quotes

Buckle up, grab a whiskey, and get ready because they are splitting hilarious.

1. “Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing.” —Ron Swanson

2. “Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait … I worry what you heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?” —Ron Swanson

3. “When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.” —Ron Swanson

4. “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.” —Ron Swanson

5. “I’d wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.” —Ron Swanson

6. “Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons.” —Ron Swanson

7. “There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.” —Ron Swanson

8. “I’m not interested in caring about people.” —Ron Swanson

9. “There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.” —Ron Swanson

10. “Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.” —Ron Swanson

11. “Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night, if it meant nothing got done.” —Ron Swanson

12. “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” —Ron Swanson

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