31 Funny Love Quotes From Comedians That Describe Your Crazy Relationship

We’ve all heard that love is patient and love is kind, but have you ever thought about how hilariously funny love and romantic relationships can be as well? As these funny love quotes from comedians prove, love can bring a chuckle, giggle or a side-splitting laugh out of just about anyone you’ll meet.

When you’re in love, you are automatically having a good time. You are with the person you adore the most, and anything you do with them brings a smile to your face, even when they’re annoying you worse than anyone has before! So naturally, your dating and love life are sure to be full of some downright entertaining moments.

Of course, there are also parts of love that don’t seem funny at first, but that you find yourself laughing about it later on. Bad breakups, fights and misunderstandings may arise and put a strain on things. But once you are able to work through it with your partner, you’re also able to see the humor in the situation.

After all, life would be a lot less interesting if we didn’t operate that way. Could you imagine a humor-less society? Ugh. That would be horrible.

Thank heavens for comedians and their interesting outlook on everything that goes on in our world! Being able to evaluate hard situations and find a sort of silver lining somewhere within it all is truly a gift. And it’s something we can all learn from, because it’s important to remember not to take everything too seriously.

There’s a funny thing about love and relationships … and it’s called everything. Thankfully, some of our favorite comedians can relate, and we found the best funny love quotes they’ve spoken or written to prove it. Not only are these phrases hilarious, they’re 100 percent spot-on, and from some of the world’s most famous, influential people to date.

Here are the 31 best funny love quotes from comedians that perfectly nail the hilarious side of relationships.

1. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell

Who your partner really is will always be revealed.

2. “I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.” — Russell Brand

Just look at all the options.

3. “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special
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40 Best Ron Swanson Quotes From Parks And Rec

Parks and Rec may have ended in 2015, but Ron Ulysses Swanson quotes remain a constant source of wisdom and relatability in these uncertain times. 

Though he is distant and hyper-masculine, Ron secretly harbors respect and care for those around them and is a great comic relief source. A breakfast aficionado, woodworking savant, avid fisherman, and secret jazz saxophonist, Ron has lived a full life. He has plenty of advice for the rest of us.

The Parks and Recreation department director in Pawnee has opinions on everything from America to skim-milk — his wisdom knows no bounds!

Best Ron Swanson Quotes

Buckle up, grab a whiskey, and get ready because they are splitting hilarious.

1. “Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing.” —Ron Swanson

2. “Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait … I worry what you heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?” —Ron Swanson

3. “When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.” —Ron Swanson

4. “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.” —Ron Swanson

5. “I’d wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.” —Ron Swanson

6. “Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons.” —Ron Swanson

7. “There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.” —Ron Swanson

8. “I’m not interested in caring about people.” —Ron Swanson

9. “There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.” —Ron Swanson

10. “Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.” —Ron Swanson

11. “Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night, if it meant nothing got done.” —Ron Swanson

12. “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” —Ron Swanson

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50 Relatable Quotes About Sleep For Chronically Tired People

We’ve all been there: you haven’t even gone to bed yet, but you can already tell you’re going to be exhausted in the morning. Unfortunately, some of us feel this tired every day of the week, and these quotes about sleep will help make you feel less alone (but still tired). 

If you’re chronically tired, sleep is your best friend and your favorite hobby. When coworkers complain they’re tired, you roll your eyes because know they have never experienced fatigue the way you do. The recommended amount of sleep per night is eight hours and although you try to reach this goal, it’s never enough.

Regardless of how much sleep you get at night, you never seem to wake up feeling refreshed the next day.

Thankfully we have a few helpful tips to help you fall asleep and stay asleep. These include putting your phone away an hour before bed, turning your thermostat down, and using essential oils. If you still can’t sleep, melatonin gummies can be bought over the counter and are mild but effective.

While tiredness is a fairly common feeling among adults, it could be chronic fatigue syndrome, which is a condition in which you consistently experience excessive exhaustion that is made worse from activity and does not improve with sleep.

Regardless of your reason for being tired, it may feel like you’re the only one that experiences this. If so here are 50 relatable quotes about sleep for people who are chronically tired that will help you see it’s not just you.

Funny quotes about sleep

1. “There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.” —Mindy Kaling

2. “Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.” —Anthony Burgess

3. “I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I’d be a college graduate today.” —George Foreman

4. “People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” —Leo J. Burke

5. “Saying ‘I’m going to bed’ really means ‘I’m going to lie in my bed and go on my phone’.” —Unknown

6. “I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?” —Ernest Hemmingway

7. “The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.” —Wilson Mizener

8. “A day without a nap is like …

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100 Vacation Quotes That Prove Everyone Deserves A Few Days Off

It’s time to relax (and unplug!)

Since quarantine started, all that is on our minds is getting through the workday and making sure we aren’t missing out on anything. It’s about time we need a break (like a real break — not just binge-watching Netflix all day).

We all deserve a little vacation at the moment because staying inside is really getting old.

So whether you’re taking a few days of paid time off of work and heading to the beach or spending the long weekend hiking a mountain, here’s a collection of the best vacation quotes that prove everyone deserves a little time off for rest and relaxation.

Funny Quotes About Vacation

The point of going on vacation is to enjoy yourself, and that means laughing once in a while. So here are some funny quotes about vacation that are sure to put a smile on your face.

1. “There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.”

2. “Reality called, so I hung up.”

3. “I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.”

4. “Isn’t it amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?” — Zig Ziglar

5. “It’s bad manners to let a vacation wait!”

6. “Airports: the only place where drinking 8 AM is socially acceptable.”

7. “I love my job only when I’m on vacation.”

8. “My goal is to hit the gym every day I’m on vacation. Usually, I just end up sleeping and drinking beer.” — Gary Allan

9. “Running to the gate is my cardio.”

10. “A plane ticket is the answer. Who cares what the question is.”

11. “Going on a trip. Need about 5 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe.”

12. “TIP: You won’t get the holiday blues if you just keep booking holidays.”

13. “Can we just skip to the part in my life where I travel the world?”

14. “If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise.”

15. “You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a plane ticket.”

16. “Vacation calories don’t count.”

17. “I’ve got 99 problems. But I am on vacation and I am ignoring them all!”

18. “Yeah, working is great…but have you tried traveling.”

19. “I followed my heart and it led me to the airport.”

20. “No matter what fabulous place I visit, I …

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30 Funny Quotes About Friendship To Use In Your Next Instagram Captions

New selfie to post with your BFF? You need the perfect quote to pair it with.

Instagram! That fabulous social media platform all about great photos, and of course, even better photo captions.

While we’re following our favorite celebs, influencers, photographers, and meme-creators, we’re also following our friends on Instagram — and vice versa. Naturally, our Instagram feeds include pictures with those friends we know and love.

It may seem like quote captions are reserved for things like seflies or travel pics, but there are actually a lot of fantastic quotes about friendship that we can utilize to caption photos with our besties.

Instead of just saying “We’re at the beach!” trying using funny friendship quotes as your Instagram captions.

They’ll make your feed all the more engaging and interesting for anyone who happens to check it out.

Here’s the thing about choosing quotes, though.

Sure, friendships have a lot of heartwarming qualities and serious conversations, but there’s something that we do with our friends more than anything. We laugh! Maybe it’s laughing at ourselves, or the various things we’ve been experienced together, but laughter is a central factor in every friendship.

Our friends brighten our day, so why not have your Instagram captions reflect the silliness and the joy of your friendships?

Funny quotes about friendship make the perfect caption to those pictures together. They are also a better reflection of that moment in time, rather than a simple description or random, aloof caption like like “squad.” Your friends will enjoy the hilarious quotes in your photos offer as well. They’ll make your pals laugh and smile while checking out the pics on your Instagram feed and they will appreciate the extra thought put into it.

We all know life is crazy busy and when you’re trying to keep up with social media, you don’t always have the time to look up funny friendship quotes online before posting your pic.

Problem solved!

Use this list of 30 funny friendship quotes for Instagram captions that perfectly capture the fun relationship you have with your best friends.

1. It’s a sufficient metaphor.

“Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard.” — Unknown

2. I’ll bring the wine.

“Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.” — Unknown

3. It’s the thought that counts, right?

“I’d walk through fire for my best …

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25 Funny Inspirational Quotes To Start Your Day Off With Positive Thoughts

“It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.”

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what will 25 funny inspirational quotes today do for you?

The easiest way to feel good is to find something that puts a smile on your face or is funny and makes you laugh. Imagine how great you will feel when you make it a daily practice to find what is funny in any situation.

You will find some of the most inspirational, funny, humorous, thought-provoking quotes that will brighten your day today and every day when you come back for more.

Enjoy them and share to make someone else’s day too!

Funny inspirational quotes to inspire positive thoughts:

1. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard

Just take it one day at a time and pat yourself on the back when you get through a storm. Take it easy and enjoy the journey.

2. “You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.” — Sam Levenson

Ever feel like you have been paying for things you have done? Here’s a thought.

3. “It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Have fun. Fall in love. Regret nothing. Live life to the fullest.

4. “I have to be successful because I like expensive things.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

This can be a great motivation to strive for more and have fun doing it.

5. “Be happy, it drives people crazy.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Be happy and in love with your life. It’ll drive people crazy and you’ll have fun doing it.

6. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a room with a mosquito.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

You are important!

7. “Kill them with success and bury them with a smile.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

One day, the people who didn’t believe in you will tell everyone how they met you.

8. “Aspire to inspire before we expire.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Be the light that helps others see.

9. “Some people are like clouds: when they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become. Avoid negativity. …

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50 Funny Mom Quotes To Share On Mother’s Day

Moms need a laugh too.

Society paints this image that motherhood is effortless and always rewarding. News flash, that isn’t always the case, as these oh-so funny mom quotes we’ve listed below undoubtedly prove.

Sure, there are amazing moments that make you proud to have brought life into this world, then there are others that make you question even wanting to be a mom in the first place.

Unfortunately being a mom isn’t awesome 100% of the time. Mothers have both good and bad days. Even funny days.

Mothers as a whole experience a lot of the same things, but everyone’s journey to motherhood and parenting is different. One thing is for sure, motherhood is full of hilarious moments. You just have to catch on to the jokes in the midst of all the chaos.

When you look back on those memories with your kids or even being pregnant, that you once thought were awful, you can’t help but laugh. Kids are really funny. They have a way of brightening the mood of a situation by just being themselves.

Admittingly, having a toddler run around the house with a diaper of their head as you leave for work is very annoying in the moment, but when you look back it’ll make you laugh and smile. Kids always leave you with a funny story to tell.

You’ll see the humor in motherhood, once you stop trying to be the perfect mom. The concept of a perfect mom is unattainable. Even women who have six or more kids don’t have parenting completely figured out.

Motherhood is one of those things where you learn through experience. All you can hope for is that you’re being the best mom you can be. We just have to laugh at those less than perfect moments.

If you’re in need of a quick laugh, check out these funny mom quotes to share with your family as you celebrate Mother’s Day.

1. Moms deserve four arms.

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” ― Milton Berle

2. What’s sleep at when you’re a mom?

“Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.” ― Amy Poehler

3. Infants are adorable bundles of torture.

“Twelve years later the memories of those nights, of that sleep deprivation, still make me rock back and forth a little bit. You …

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50 Funny, Positive Quotes To Help You Keep Your Chin Up

Look for the good right now (even though it’s hard).

It’s important to not take life too seriously, especially right now. This message is the most important during times of frustration and chaos. There are moments where we can become so overwhelmed, like right now, during the coronavirus pandemic … we don’t know how to feel.

So funny, positive quotes can help us through by training our brains to focus on the good in life. The laughs help you keep your chin up during the hardest parts of life.

Laughing and crying are two responses that come from the same part of your brain. Humor is a great way of communicating a message that sticks, and especially now, we need those messages to be positive ones.

In the midst of sadness, pain and grief (which is what many of us are feeling right now), it’s important to include an element of playfulness and fun to ease the burden of life. They do say laughter is the best medicine, so let’s give it a try. Look to these funny, positive quotes to help you keep your chin up.

1. You’re not that small.

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” — Dalai Lama

2. Remember the three bones.

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” — Reba McEntire

3. Nothing is impossible.

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” — A.A. Milne

3. Always wear a smile.

“A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.” — Charles Gordy

4. Start with the truth.

“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” — Mark Twain

5. Don’t be lazy.

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” — Thomas Edison

6. Be careful what you wish for.

“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” — Steven Wright

7. Have a laugh.

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard

8. Focus on your actions.

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers

9. Follow the right path….literally.

“Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the …

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30 Best ‘The Office’ Quotes

The worst part about prison was the dementors.

The Office has been a hit show for years and even though there are no longer new episodes, there’s still plenty of great material that has come out of the hit show that is relevant today.

You won’t go very long without hearing someone somewhere use The Office quotes or crack a joke from any of the hilarious characters the show has to offer.

Whether you are a Jim, Pam, Dwight, Kelly or Michael fan, there are a ton of hilarious moments from the show that will never get old. Just ask any true fan of the show, they most likely have binge-watched every single episode two or three times.

If you need a pick me up from a bad day or just a good laugh to keep you going here are 30 of the best The Office quotes to help put a smile on your face.

The Best ‘Office’ Quotes of All Time

1. “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” — Michael Scott

2. “I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself out…” — Kelly Kapoor

3. “I am Beyonce always.” — Michael Scott

4. “Oh, it is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn.” — Andy Bernard

5. “I am running away from my responsibilities and it feels good.” — Michael Scott

6. “Should have burned this place down when I had the chance.” — Michael Scott

7. “One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.” — Jim Halpert

8. “Mini cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?” — Kevin Malone

9. “I don’t care what they say about me. I just want to eat.” — Pam Beesly

10. “I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” — Michael Scott

11. “Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing.” — Dwight Schrute

12. “I stopped caring a long time ago.” — Creed Bratton

13. “It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don’t expect everybody to understand.” — Michael Scott…

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50 Food Quotes & Famous Sayings About Eating Well

Best quotes about food of all time.

Food. A four-letter word that supports our entire life, literally. An aroma of nostalgic home-cooked meals while you’re withering away in a bowl of premade ramen noodles. It is an essential element of our everyday lives.

Nothing can bring a group of people together like a feast of delicious foods spread across a table. Throughout every moment of victory or defeat, food has and always will be there for you. Just broke up with your boyfriend? Your best friend shows up with a bottle of cheap wine and Chinese takeout. Celebrating graduation? Your family rents out a restaurant and you are submerged in multiple cuisines. Mourning the death of a family member? Everyone shows up at your house afterward to chow down and drink coffee.

Food is a universal language and can create bonds from near and far.

Whenever I am on vacation, I not only look forward to sightseeing and white, sandy beaches. I look forward to the culture and cuisine. With every bite from around the world, you can immediately taste the story of the people, the love that goes into every dish, and the pride they have when they see you enjoy every crumb on that empty plate.

Nothing beats the feeling of a home-cooked meal, and also the pure joy of coming home to your family after a long time of not seeing each other. Food brings everyone together despite any past event that might have left a bad taste in your mouth (no pun intended).

Point is, food is everywhere! No matter what the occasion is, you can always rely on a delicious meal to cheer you up. In this article, you’ll find a collection of the wittiest and funniest food quotes and famous sayings about eating well from chefs all around the world. Take a look below at the best quotes about food for fellow foodies:

1. Chow down at your own risk.

“I’ve long believed that good food, good eating, is all about risk. Whether we’re talking about unpasteurized Stilton, raw oysters or working for organized crime associates, food, for me, has always been an adventure.”— Anthony Bourdain

2. Laugh with your mouth closed, Becky!

“Laughter is brightest in the place where food is.”— Irish Proverb

3. Make sure to breathe in between bites.

“One of the very nicest things about life is the way we …

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